


Something To Hold On To

by talesofsymphoniac



Category: Tales of Series, Tales of Zestiria
Genre: Illusions, M/M, Sormikweek2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-07-29 19:04:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7695799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talesofsymphoniac/pseuds/talesofsymphoniac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The party has accepted Sorey's answer, but Mikleo has his own doubts. As the party approaches Camlann, Symonne will do anything in her power to make Sorey fall to malevolence.</p><p>Written a while back, publishing for Day One of Sormik Week 2016: Healing</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something To Hold On To

_Until the Squires can quell enough of the earth’s malevolence to let Maotelus’ natural purification take over… I would need to wait, and sleep._

_He can’t even meet Sorey’s eyes._

“Mikleo, you’re still awake.” Lailah’s voice cut through his swirling thoughts. Mikleo didn’t move from his position, sitting with arms braced on his knees, away from their campsite. Rose and Edna had teased and then complained about Sorey’s desire to set out under the stars (they only made it a few hours from Lastonbell before they were forced to set up camp, and even Sorey sort of wished they had stayed at the inn after all), but none of them could deny Sorey his wish. Not now.

“Can’t sleep.”

He heard Lailah approach from behind and take a seat next to him. She was blessedly quiet for a moment, a small flame held in her hands, just warm enough to be comfortable and just light enough for them to see each other. It flickered silently between them.

_By bonding with Maotelus, you’ll be abandoned in time. It could take years… It could take centuries. And even if humans appear who can see and talk to seraphim… There’s no guarantee they’ll choose the path of coexistence._

_I believe in them._

He turned to Lailah, and if she was startled by his sudden movement, she didn’t show it. “We overheard you and Gramps when we were in Elysia.” There was no question of which ‘we’ he was referring to. There never was. Lailah only nodded, as if she had already known, and now that Mikleo thought about it, perhaps she had. “You were talking about our destinies.” He paused, collecting his thoughts, and she waited patiently for him. “Lailah. Is this-- Sorey’s plan-- his destiny?”

Lailah didn’t answer right away, looking into her small flame as if it would have the answer she needed. When she spoke, it was uncertainly. “Destiny is something you create for yourself. In that sense, Sorey’s choice is his destiny, yes.” Lailah must have been able to sense that this wasn’t the answer Mikleo wanted to hear. “But you must remember that you have your own destiny as well. Your fates have always been entwined; if you choose it, you can find each other again.”

“What if I can’t?” The words were harsh, betraying his hidden fear. Lailah’s flame flickered and her eyes widened as she realized the implications of his words.

“Mikleo, you mustn’t…” She trailed off, her voice soft. Mikleo ducked his head, unwilling to face the worry he knew he was causing her.

“Of all the sacrifices I’ve made for him, this one is the most difficult,” he confessed, looking away again. “I… I've never had to make it without him. I don't know...” He looked back up, and saw Lailah’s pained face, the beginnings of tears shining in the firelight. “I can’t tell him,” he went on, more firmly. “That kind of doubt is the last thing he needs right now. And of course, we might not survive at all, so why worry about it now?” He tried to sound nonchalant, but it was too late for that.

Lailah hesitated, then faced him. “Sorey believes in you, Mikleo,” she said firmly.

Mikleo sighed. “Sorey believes in a lot of things.”

“Doubting yourself…” Lailah paused uncertainly and then spoke deliberately, and Mikleo could feel her desperation that he hear and understand. “It only enables malevolence to corrupt you.”

Of course. It was easy to forget, amidst her nurturing and cheerful personality, but Lailah herself had been through her own share of dark times. “What do I do, then? You know, don’t you?”

It was after questions like this that Lailah would typically freeze up before quickly changing the subject with some story or increasingly inventive pun, but tonight she simply sighed wistfully and looked back into her flame. Mikleo thought she had determined to simply ignore his question until she made a humming noise. “Rose and Sorey didn’t seem to understand.”

“Because they’re Sorey and Rose,” Mikleo stated as though it was obvious. Lailah hummed again and took a second to think.

“It was hard,” she shook her head, correcting herself. “It _is_ hard. To think I could have done something to save Michael. To think that I had…” Her voice broke. “...failed him.” She wiped her eyes, collecting herself, and when she went on, she sounded much surer. “But in the midst of all the confusion and pain, I knew with certainty that he would have never wanted me to become a hellion. I knew that, for myself as well as for him, I had to stay on the path that would lead to the world we desired. I held on to that knowledge above all else. Malevolence is muddled. It thrives in confusion and pain. But if you have something to hold on to… It can’t touch you, Mikleo.”

Her words flowed into him like water, and without any conscious effort on his part, the chaotic, spiraling thoughts he had been fighting slowed to something still and manageable.

_What about your dream? Weren’t you going to go off exploring ruins around the world?_

_My dream will live on, so long as I don’t forget._

_Mikleo finally forces himself to meet Sorey’s gaze, the one that has been with him since childhood. Suddenly it is clear to him. They aren’t only talking about Sorey’s dream. They never were; how had Mikleo forgotten that?_

For the first time since leaving Lastonbell, his mind felt calm and clear. He blinked, quickly brushing the beginnings of tears away, though there was little chance Lailah had missed them. “Something to hold on to…” he repeated, for his benefit or Lailah’s, he wasn’t sure.

Her hand touched his shoulder. “Try to sleep, Mikleo.” They looked at each other for a short moment, and an understanding passed between them. Mikleo nodded his assent. The two rose, letting Lailah’s warm light lead the way back to the campsite.

* * *

Just when they were beginning to feel like they had a handle on Symonne’s illusions, everything around them went dark. After a moment of confusion, the party discovered that they were no longer in the labyrinth of ruins below Mount Mabinogio.

“Are we back in Lastonbell?” Mikleo wondered out loud, turning to Sorey. Except, even as he did so, he came to the jarring realization that Sorey was no longer standing next to him. Quickly examining his surroundings, which indeed were identical to the city of Lastonbell, he realized Sorey didn’t seem to be in the party at all.

Rose was the next to come to this conclusion. “Where’d Sorey go?” Her hands drifted to her knives as she scanned the deserted city. The stars were as bright as they had been those few nights ago.

“Another illusion…” Zaveid groused. “I don’t like the looks of this one.” It was different than Symonne’s previous illusions. Where before, they had been fantastical and not quite believable, this Lastonbell had an air of familiarity, almost like a memory.

Mikleo was still searching for any sign of Sorey when he felt a sharp jab in his shoulder. “Look,” Edna said, gesturing with her umbrella.

“Sorey!” Rose called. “And… Mikleo?” Indeed, it was a strange sight. On the balcony above were Sorey and Mikleo, and on the road below Mikleo was running up to the pair of them, frantically calling Sorey’s name. The remaining party members glanced nervously at each other before following him to Sorey and the false Mikleo.

Sorey showed no response to Mikleo’s words. He was examining the illusion of Mikleo with undivided intensity, clearly confused. Mikleo tugged at his cloak, feeling horribly like he had been in this situation before.

Edna tugged on his shoulder, pulling him backward, and he remembered. Glaivend Basin. The first battle with Heldalf. Sorey hadn’t been able to see him then, either. He’d been terrified, and while Edna had been the first to tease him later about the devastated tears he’d shed, she’d also been the one to calmly pull him back, as she did now.

“It’s no good. She’s cut us off from him.”

“There’s nothing we can do,” Lailah agreed sadly.

Rose crossed her arms, refusing to be daunted. “Sorey can handle anything Symonne can throw at him.”

Edna huffed. “I don’t think Meebo believes you.”

Sorey, oblivious to Mikleo's struggle, continued his study of the replica. “Mikleo? How did we get here? And where are the others?”

The false Mikleo turned, leaning back against the balcony rail, a small smile gracing his features. “Lailah took them out. I think she wanted to give us some time.” He looked up, admiring the brilliant stars above them.

Sorey was unconvinced. “But we were just--” he stopped himself, and everything clicked into place. “Symonne.”

The illusion was unperturbed. “Hm? She can’t be here now, right? She’s probably with Heldalf or something.”

Sorey paused at that, then sighed, resigning himself to have to go through whatever it was Symonne had cooked up for him. “Alright, then.” He took his place leaning on the balcony next to the Mikleo that wasn’t.

Edna’s eyes narrowed. “What can she be doing? He’s seen right through her illusion.”

“Is she gonna make Sorey fight Mikleo?” Rose guessed.

Zaveid chuckled at this, though it was tense. “She just doesn’t have any new ideas, does she?”

“Hey Mikleo, calm down. It’ll be fine.” Rose casually patted him on the back, but she could see that Mikleo was having none of it.

“She was there,” he spat, and Rose looked around at the rest, hoping they would clarify.

Only Lailah seemed to understand. She clasped her hands together, looking down nervously. “Symonne must have been watching us that night in Lastonbell. She couldn’t recreate this unless she had.”

“Well, that’s creepy,” Rose conceded. Mikleo clenched his fists, watching on as his replica and Sorey continued talking.

“Are you ready for our final battle?” the other Mikleo asked. Sorey nodded, every inch the determined and unwavering Shepherd.  
  
“Yes. I’m finally sure of my answer.”

The false Mikleo smiled at him again, looking enamored with Sorey as the real Mikleo. “Good. That’s… good.” His gaze returned to the stars, still smiling that admiring smile. “A star for every feeling?” He repeated, shaking his head a little. “You really are such a romantic.”

He was so much like Mikleo that for a moment Sorey forgot that this was all just an illusion. He smiled too. “Usually you just tease me.”

The replica let out a snicker, playful and familiar. “Who says I’m not?” For a second, it was like nothing was wrong; it was just Sorey and Mikleo as they always were. As natural as breathing. But the moment soon passed, and Mikleo let out a small breath. “I’m going to miss you, Sorey.”

Sorey felt a pang of guilt. _It’s only an illusion, remember._ But he knew that Mikleo was dreading their approaching separation as much as he was. He would never say so; trying to hide it was par for the course for Mikleo, and he ached to see Mikleo’s pain, even if it was from a false version of his friend. “I’ll miss you too. Of course I will.”

Mikleo was still smiling, but it was sad now, bittersweet. “I’ve made all kinds of sacrifices for you, Sorey. But this one will be the most difficult.”

The effect was instantaneous, like a punch in the gut. “Mikleo,” Sorey choked. He sounded crushed.

The real Mikleo was faring little better; he recognized his own words instantly. His jaw tightened and his whole body was trembling.

“She was there, too,” Lailah realized, dazed. The others looked at her, waiting for an explanation, but there was none to be had. The illusion of Mikleo turned to face Sorey directly, his face serious.

“Can I ask something selfish?”

Sorey didn’t stop to think about it. “What is it?”

“Don’t go.” Mikleo said simply. Sorey blinked, surprised.

“What?”

Mikleo looked down, looking deeply forlorn. “You don’t have to do this, Sorey. I know we could make it, if it’s the both of us. Rose and the others could come too. We could withstand the malevolence together. And… even if we do become hellions,” he said quietly, “It wouldn’t be so bad if you were there too.”

Stunned, Sorey stumbled before he could respond. “And just leave the rest of the world to become corrupt? We would only become hellions ourselves, given enough time,” he protested weakly. “I have to--”

“I know why you have to do it!” Mikleo spun on him ferociously. “Why do you always have to do stuff like this, try to leave me behind, make me suffer so you can do the right thing?” Lailah and Rose gasped, but Sorey didn’t hear. Sorey didn’t seem to be afraid of Mikleo’s rage at all. He could see the hurt that had inspired it, and it was agonizing, knowing he had caused this. The choice he was making was causing the angry tears glistening in Mikleo’s eyes, and though he assured himself again that this Mikleo was an imitation, his own emotions were all too real.

“Rose and Alisha could be _dead_ by the time you wake up!” Mikleo’s shouting went on, and Rose, unnoticed by the others, grimaced. “I might be gone by that time, did you think of that? That I might become a hellion waiting for you?”

Anguish was painted over Sorey’s face. His mouth was open as if trying to speak, but only a few strangled sounds came out. “Mikleo…” he struggled, and his voice was rough and strained, “You can’t…”

“This isn’t good,” Edna murmured, trying to keep her words from reaching Mikleo. Lailah caught her eye, and she understood; there was too much malevolence here, and Sorey’s guard had fallen. If this kept up for too much longer, Sorey would be lost. As they watched, a dark aura surrounded the false Mikleo, and its reach was slowly expanding, approaching Sorey. Before long it would get to him.

“Stop leaving me, then!” Mikleo was still raging. Sorey stood motionless; his hand tightened on the balcony rail and his stance was unsteady. He looked lost like he never had before.

“Stop it…” The real Mikleo’s words were so soft that at first Rose and the others didn’t realize he had spoken. Sorey himself gave no indication of having heard him, too enraptured with the illusion before him. “That’s not me! Don’t listen to her!” he cried louder, trying to forcibly grab Sorey’s shoulders, but nothing he did could break through the illusion.

Rose stepped up, snatching Mikleo by the arm. “He can’t hear you, Mikleo!” she struggled to calm him down. “Mikleo!”

Mikleo whipped to face her, with a wild, panicked expression, struggling to remove his arm from Rose’s grasp. “Don’t you see what she’s doing? If we don’t do something--”

Rose fought to keep a hold of him. “I know, but--”

Lailah’s voice remained steady, betraying none of the anxiety in her expression. “Mikleo, calm down! There’s too much malevolence here to lose yourself now!”

Mikleo stopped fighting Rose to shoot a vicious glare at Lailah. “And if we do nothing, we’ll lose _him!_ ”

Rose’s grip was still tight around his arm, and he shut his eyes tightly, trying to rid himself of the scene before him. The sight of his image, his very real feelings used against the person he loved most like this, made him sick. Lailah was right; he could almost feel black aura creeping closer to him, threatening to seep into his very skin. He could hear his own replica talking to Sorey, spitting cruel lies and crueler truths.

“So, once again…” Mikleo felt tears welling up, and for once he didn’t care that Edna and Lailah could see. “I’m nothing but a liability to you. I’m sorry.” The malevolence was closing in; in a moment, it would all be over. No more fighting.

_Even if we do become hellions… it wouldn’t be so bad if you were there too._

“Is there no way to break through?” Rose cried desperately, now clinging to Mikleo more than she was restraining him.

“It’s Sorey’s illusion,” Edna said quietly. “We’re just along for the ride.”

“I can’t lose you, Sorey,” the replica’s voice was becoming darker, rougher.

“Mikleo!” Sorey cried out, and it was enough to force Mikleo to open his eyes. But it was not him who Sorey’s cries were for, but the false Mikleo.

His hair was limp and gray, his face pallid. The dark aura had completely consumed him, was mere inches from reaching Sorey. The illusion coughed, grimacing in pain. “It’s too late… I’m sorry.”

“Mikleo!” That this was an illusion had completely fled Sorey’s mind. All he saw was Mikleo’s suffering, the darkness taking control of his whole being. The hellion was still recognizably Mikleo but with no life to it; everything that he had once thought beautiful was replaced with wrath. Sorey watched, paralyzed.

“This is your fault!” The hellion roared, summoning a staff. Sorey made no move to defend himself as the beast struck, smacking him to the ground. The hellion loomed over him and still he made no move to get up or draw his sword. What was the point? He couldn’t protect anyone, least of all himself.

The hellion raised his staff, preparing for a killing blow. Sorey watched as the weapon began its trajectory towards his head, when suddenly it all stopped. The staff halted in midair with a sharp crack, despite the hellion exerting its full strength on it. He growled, struggling again to move the staff. Sorey blinked, trying to comprehend the sight before him, and that was when he heard it:

“Sorey!”

He looked closer at the space between himself and the hellion. Where before there had been only the dark aura of the malevolence, there was now something silvery-blue holding the taint back. As he watched, it began to take on a familiar shape.

“It’s not real, do you hear me? I’m right here!”

He blinked again, and there was Mikleo, holding back the hellion with his staff. “Mikleo!”

The sound of his voice distracted Mikleo enough for the hellion to take another swing at him. Mikleo stumbled back, but before the hellion could make another move, Sorey was on his feet, able to draw his sword at last.

“It’s about time,” Edna droned from behind him. In his peripheral, Sorey saw a flash of color: red, yellow, green.

“Come on, Sorey,” Rose appeared by his side as well, knives drawn. “Let’s take him down.”

* * *

The hellion was no match for all of them working as a group; Symonne was quickly becoming exhausted from creating her illusions. The creature was heaving, unable to lift its weapon. It spoke, and for the first time, they heard Symonne’s weakened voice as well as the hellion’s. “It’s no good, Shepherd. You won’t be there to purify him when it happens for real.”

Rose’s eyes glinted. “Shut up,” she said, stabbing the creature in one final killing blow. The hellion, and the illusionary Lastonbell around them, faded, and then they were back in the ruins under Mabinogio.

Sorey was gasping for breath, still recovering from his close encounter with the malevolence. He looked to his side, where Mikleo stood in a similar state. They did not say anything, but their eyes scoured over each other, checking that they were both unharmed.

It was Lailah who spoke first. “That was close. You were very nearly corrupted. If Mikleo hadn’t broken through when he did…”

Edna swung her umbrella, propping it onto her shoulder. “Meebo was on the verge himself.”

“This malevolence is no joke,” Zaveid chimed in, but Mikleo was no longer paying attention, still holding Sorey’s gaze and seeing the doubt that had settled there.

“It wasn’t real,” he said firmly, and Sorey looked away guiltily.

“It didn’t come from nowhere, though, did it?” Sorey asked.

“She must have been there, that night, watching,” Mikleo admitted. It hurt, to think that moment had been intruded on, used against them. “Lailah and I were talking later… but she twisted it, Sorey.” Sorey tried to speak again, but Mikleo cut him off. “You and I both know that you’ll do whatever has to be done. I wouldn’t have you any other way.”

Sorey met Mikleo’s gaze again, sad and tired. “But… you’ll be alone.”

“I’ll have Rose and the others.”

Sorey shook his head. “You know what I mean,” he said simply. Mikleo’s pitiful attempt at a smile faded into a much more truthful grimace. Around them, Rose and the seraphs watched on in silence.

He took a deep breath. “Sorey. Listen to me carefully, because this is the truth: I will miss you terribly.” Pained, Sorey started to look away, but Mikleo took his shoulder. “But that’s how I know I can promise you this.” When Sorey had fixed his gaze again, Mikleo continued. “I won’t become a hellion. I will wait for you, no matter how long it takes. I won’t become a hellion because when you wake up, I will be right there with you.”

Sorey’s eyes burned into his, searching for any hint of uncertainty, but there was none left to hide. He had no doubts now. He had already proven to himself that he could withstand the malevolence. All he had needed was something to hold on to.

“But--”

“But nothing,” Mikleo interrupted, a real smile playing on the edge of his lips. “I’m bound and determined, Sorey. If you want to chicken out now, you won’t have me to blame for it.”

Sorey’s face was unreadable for a second. Then, slowly, a smile spread over his face. Mikleo’s confidence seemed to ease worries he hadn’t even acknowledged he’d had. His entire countenance seemed to sparkle, and he nodded. “Right!”

With embarrassment, Mikleo realized his hands were still on Sorey’s shoulders. He removed himself quickly, suddenly aware of their audience, but Sorey paid them no heed, wrapping his arms around Mikleo and pulling him into a tight hug. Under any other circumstance, Mikleo would have pulled away, red-faced and stuttering, but for now he tried to ignore the others and let his head rest against Sorey’s shoulder, enjoying the feel of Sorey’s arms around him.

“Would you look at that!” Zaveid sang when Sorey finally pulled back. The seraph shot a wink at Mikleo, who suppressed an irritated groan. He was further dismayed to see tears glistening above the smile on Lailah’s face. Rose’s arms were crossed in satisfaction. Edna rolled her eyes, turning her back on them, twirling her parasol, and stepping further into the dark ruins ahead of them.

“If you two are finished with your sap-fest, we’ve got work to do.”

Mikleo and Sorey exchanged one last glance. Then Sorey returned his attention to the rest of the team, nodding.

“I’m ready.”


End file.
